Raising Our Children in the Faith; Getting Them to Actively Participate in Church

Our children have been going to church since they were one years old so it's old hat for them, but I find as they get older it's easier to keep them sitting still and quiet, but they are no longer loving attending the way they did when they were little. In their earlier years (they are now four and five) they used to get so excited and yell, "yay...church!!" when we were departing on these family outings. It saddens me to see this spark of excitement dissipate. I know before it was because it was a new experience, something stimulating and different that they got to do on a weekly basis -- with mommy AND daddy. That alone was enough for them. Our saving grace...our miracle "cure" for talking and crying children, from the time we joined this parish, was lollipops! Five to ten minutes in when the kids start getting antsy, out come the lollipops. Truly magic! Give it a try to quiet your talking child if you feel the need. We've gotten so many compliments on our perfectly behaved children, even when we thought they were being nutty. I do not take credit for this...all of the credit due goes to Dum Dums. Our church does not have a children's room, nor would I put them in there anyway. I believe it defeats the point of raising a child in the faith, and am not a fan of them. I think Jesus understands children better than any of us and wouldn't want them in a separate room. Just my opinion. Our parish is also very small and does not have Sunday school. Even if they did, I would not want to throw my kids in a nursery for Sunday school. I want them with us...growing as a family, in love and in faith.

 

We have always held our children in our arms in church so they would not jump around, fidget, or otherwise disturb the other parishioners. The greatest plus we found of doing this though was the bonding time we would have with them; one hour of undisturbed hugging, cradling, and cuddling. Priceless. We just recently started letting them stand on their own, at least for part of the mass. They do fidget, but not enough to be really disturbing to the community around us. The biggest problem is they are no longer interested in attending church. They visibly yawn throughout the entire mass, and will turn to me and say, "Mommy, did you see me just yawn? I keep yawning and I can't stop." Slightly embarrassed, I shhhsh them and again direct my attention toward the pulpit.

 

I try to engage my children in prayer in church. We're Catholic and they've got the sit, stand, kneel down pat, but they do not partake in the prayers, recitations, or anything else. I do. I pray aloud, I sing along with every hymn, etc. and I want them to have this same experience. Until I found the strength of faith on my own to do this - when we were graced with the amazing church we now attend - I was a passerby...I just stood passively and listened while the others prayed and sang. That's how I grew up. I wasn't encouraged to sing and pray. I want to encourage my children to sing and pray aloud with pride because I now know what a difference active participation rather than the passive indifference that constituted most of my life makes. I include them by holding their hands during the Our Father. The only part of the mass they participate in otherwise is Offering a Sign of Peace, putting the envelopes in the collection baskets, and walking up to Communion with me. Naturally they cannot sing along yet as they cannot read the hymnals, but I want them to grow up being active participants in a church community. I attended church for the first half of my childhood, I also went to CCD. What I did not do, ever, was to actually actively participate. I want that for my children so I need help! What do you do to get your children excited about church...to truly participate as a member of your congregation? I've taught my kids the Sign of the Cross and I can't even get them to do that while in a formal mass setting.

 

Advice, please...or am I expecting too much? Do any four or five year olds pray aloud and actively participate in church services? Have a blessed Sunday.